Friday, August 24, 2012

Pity Party

August 23, 2012  **Thursday. Starbucks-Village Park. 9:47pm**

Job 10:1-2

I am disgusted with my life.  Let me complain freely.  My bitter soul must complain.  I will say to God, "Don't simply condemn me--tell me the charge you are bringing against me.

According to Matthew Henry's Concise Commentary: 10:1-7 Job, being weary of his life, resolves to complain, but he will not charge God with unrighteousness. Here is a prayer that he might be delivered from the sting of his afflictions, which is sin. When God afflicts us, he contends with us; when he contends with us, there is always a reason; and it is desirable to know the reason, that we may repent of and forsake the sin for which God has a controversy with us. But when, like Job, we speak in the bitterness of our souls, we increase guilt and vexation. Let us harbour no hard thoughts of God; we shall hereafter see there was no cause for them. Job is sure that God does not discover things, nor judge of them, as men do; therefore he thinks it strange that God continues him under affliction, as if he must take time to inquire into his sin.

This is hard core, man.  "If anguish on earth renders the grave a desirable refuge, what will be their condition who are condemned to the blackness of darkness for ever?" Whoa, so those times when I wanted to end my own life and craved death, my condition would have a greater sense of despair?  That's super deep and crazy to even fathom.

Lord God, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SAVING ME!!! Saving me from myself, saving me from this unfathomable depth of despair, saving me from eternal damnation, saving me from the weeping and gnashing of teeth.  WHOA, I am an utter failure without you; BUT YOU GOD, loved me so much that you saved me those times when I was on the brink of death; those darkened nights as I heavily contemplated the benefits of death and the ease of becoming you, one who decides to take death into her own hands. These benefits--leaving my loved ones, no more heartaches or heavy burdens to bare, or the benefit of releasing my unknown dreams into the grave--or so I thought as benefits, were really just a pile of poopy lies. You knew, at those times that these were not benefits of death but the very things that will lift my spirits higher; the very things that will cause me to excel in this life, the very things that, out of the overflow of my heart for you, will cause me to become the very world changer that I now strive to become. All I can say is: Thank you.

Most days the Pity Party hangs out across town. Some days they cruz on by the neighborhood.  I know they're there, they exist only to wait for an invitation. Not Today, guys I get to hang out with the cool kids--Those who love and serve God.  Keep your Pity Party on your side of town....

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